just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So here I am, sexting at work.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize