SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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