Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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