You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
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Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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