The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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