I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
