you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
