i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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