no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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