Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
