That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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