I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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