I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
