I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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