is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
