Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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