Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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