Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize