OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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