I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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