I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
