I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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