Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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