just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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