new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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