Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
