M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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