well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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