Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.