Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.