brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pappa wants mamma naked
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The struggles of a small town man whore