Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea

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  (720): Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea http://tfl.nu/2bz5
  Replies (9) Good night (1976) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

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  (336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me. http://tfl.nu/79qg
  Replies (57) Good night (4497) Bad night (1121)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

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  (914): Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase. http://tfl.nu/ryxu
  Replies (68) Good night (480) Bad night (4309)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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  (507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7
  Replies (52) Good night (1027) Bad night (6001) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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  (406): I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money" http://tfl.nu/7mg6
  Replies (13) Good night (4877) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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  (254): she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared. http://tfl.nu/cseo
  Replies (9) Good night (2992) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Oh God. You're going to jail

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  (352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu
  Replies (30) Good night (5887) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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  (661): I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it http://tfl.nu/7h1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1010) Bad night (1654) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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  (925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob" http://tfl.nu/t96e
  Replies (15) Good night (4427) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick

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  (215): he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick http://tfl.nu/z2ix
  Replies (13) Good night (603) Bad night (1552) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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  (304): yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot http://tfl.nu/grz5
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...

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  (312): I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today. (773): I'm not sure which feat is more impressive... http://tfl.nu/ga4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (401)
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  (661): View more from California

  How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.

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  (661): How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents. http://tfl.nu/nsw6
  Replies (17) Good night (446) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

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  (570): I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in. http://tfl.nu/wp3g
  Replies (6) Good night (1158) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".

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  (678): His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high". http://tfl.nu/jgmh
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt

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