The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
