ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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