We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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