Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
