I wish I only lived at night.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize