dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
