Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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