I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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