Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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