he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
