I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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