i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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