Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize