There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Girls should come with a carfax report
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize