I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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