would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
