hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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