I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
