Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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