I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize