They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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