did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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