i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
