I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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