Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
