Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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