Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
