butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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