Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
