Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
